Hey girl hey. And boy.
Today I have 2 situations. One from my sarahah and one sent by email. Sarahah is basically a website where you send messages anonymously so if you have a situation but wanna keep it lowkey (
wow my vocabulary’s great), click here. For all the other options, click here. As usual, if you want to add anything or add another piece of advice, feel free to do so in the comments. Anyways, let’s get started.
I had a best friend last year and we decided to make a summer bucket list together. We never did anything on that list, she rarely replied to the messages I sent her, and whenever she did, she turned it into an entire argument. One time, my simple suggestion of her auditioning for a play led to her saying “well i guess u win. because u ALWAYS win. because I have to give up my rights in this friendship because that’s just one of the things that goes hand in hand with ur friendship”. Eventually, after some other incidents, I decided to let go of her as a friend. However, she’s part of a huge friend group we were all in and she’s not going to be out of that group anytime soon. How do I cope?
ur blog is amazing just wanna say that (this was sent in a minute after the first one so I’m assuming it’s the same person- thank you so much!!)
Wow! First off, props to you for dropping a friend like that – that was a great decision and you shouldn’t have to deal with this level of immaturity. Ugh it’s so annoying when you’re in the same friend group because there’ll be this vibe between you two and one of you will eventually just let go. Some friends stir up drama literally out of nowhere. I once had this friend and we used to have many fights but in the end, we were still friends and sometimes friends like that have issues of their own or might be going through difficult times. Now the right thing to do is to pull her aside and talk to her about everything. Either you can start over or let go but end on good terms. Staying in the same friend group where there’s still beef kind of going on, will just cause even more problems. Now I’m not saying leave the group because those are your friends too and she’s basically stopping you from being friends with them. If the squad include close friends too and you don’t have any friends outside of it, then you’re somewhat forced to stay (unless you want to join the loner squad- “we have cookies!” okay off topic). Don’t be petty towards her but be kind. I know it’s easier said than done but try. Plus, it’s 2018 (happy late new years btw) and you’re going to put all the negative people behind you. You could also just pretend like you never met but that’s a bit petty. It kind of all depends on how close you were. If she was like a best friend for like 2 years and more, I say try to make it up. Maybe write her a letter or message her if you don’t want to have that one on one conversation. If she was like a ‘2 months best friend’ and things are just not working out anymore, then I think you should just let go for a while. Maybe talk to new people or talk to your close friends about it. I hope this helps and good luck.
I love this idea so much! I have a really tricky situation at the mo….
So I have this “friend” (not anymore!) and we were great friends in primary school at the start but then I started noticing little things that she would do to put me down like laughing at me when I missed out on food (I am allergic to gluten), if I didn’t do something ‘right’ and just being rude and selfish.
So next year in high school, i tried to move away from here and she didn’t get the idea. I made some friends but she just used me and made them her friends too. She would drag me out of conversations with them, push me away and I didn’t like this at all. I asked her to stop and she just kept doing it more intensely. So I sent her a message saying back off and stop it and she is just getting worse again. And her mum got involved and started calling me names and making up lies about what I had ‘apparently’ been doing.
She is now in every single class with me and my friends and she keeps trying to be bff s with them. She has now got the counseller involved and everything is stuffed up. Me and my friends have moved away and she has stayed away like she said she would but now she is coming back over more frequently and trying to be friends with my other good friend too.
Sorry if this is long but it is annoying me sooo much! Lol
Whaaaaat?? That’s so rude! Good thing you confronted her about it. Her mom calling you names??? That’s so immature I can’t. At least your friends are standing with you. No problem- I’d be so annoyed too. Okay so she probably doesn’t have any other friends so she’s holding on to anyone she knows. It’s freshman year and she’s trying to hang on to a few familiar faces. (ALL AROUND ME- okay I’ll stop) I say talk to her one more time politely and tell her that if she wants to hang out with you that she needs to be respectful and mention what she’s doing wrong so she can try to improve. If you and your friends really don’t want her around try to maybe set her up with another person? I know that sounds mean but it’s the first year of high school and trust me, she’s not going to stick with you all the way to senior year. She’ll hopefully make new friends. Encourage her to join clubs or sport teams or a social activity she might be interested in. Don’t pretend to be her friend if you dislike her so you don’t come off as a fake friend. But be considerate of her feelings and don’t straight up be like “OK WE HATE YOU”, you know? Maybe give her one last chance and see what happens? I hope this helps and good luck.
Anddd that’s all for today (says me 1136 words later- now 1139- now 1140- okay I’ll stop). I’ll see you all on Friday.