Why I Hate Soccer

Hey girl hey. And boy.

I’ve always hated soccer. And what better time to rant about it than with the world raging about the World Cup? 😂 Now before you all click the unfollow button, you probably need to know that I hate most sports anyway, so don’t take it personally. 😂 But still, soccer is a big no-no for potatoes and we still have a lot of ranting to go through. So let’s cut this intro short and get started (totally not like I was too lazy to write more or anything).

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Okay I lied. I haven’t always hated soccer. I actually used to love it as a kid. Me and my brothers would play and I was so pro at being goalkeeper (Keylor Navas right here 😂). When I came to Canada, we played soccer in gym class and I fouled SOO many people like wow I was so violent competitive. 😂

 

And then 3rd grade rolled around; the year where I discovered that running is awful and I was destined to be a lazy potato forever. 😂 I started to lose my soccer skills and by 5th grade, I literally forgot how to kick a ball. I’m not even joking, we had to kick a soccer ball because we were playing soccer baseball and I missed and landed on my butt like ??? 😂😂

 

It doesn’t stop there. My ball handling is a whole other story. It’s probably just me but every time I attempt to play soccer, my legs automatically dislocate. 😂 Like how do you expect me to run and handle the ball at the same time? Ball handling is so hard and I literally have no control over the ball. I like basketball because you’re using both your legs and hands – not just trying to balance everything on your dislocated legs. 😂 The worst part about soccer is that I’m required to run with my leg cramps. The ball keeps going back and forth between the fields that by the time I make it to the opposite end, someone shot it back to where I was in the first place like UGH! 😂

so how is this possible?

 

If you ever play soccer with me, you must know that you should never pass me the ball to shoot. Just like I mentioned above, I can barely kick the ball into an empty net, let alone with a goalie and like 5 defenders attacking me. 😂 Not only that but every time I try aiming for a certain direction, it’s way off! And I know I can kick it high so it’s hard for the goalie to reach but I can never train my legs to do that. Do you like curl your toes inwards or what? 😂 I’m pretty sure the soccer field has some magnetic force under it to prevent me from aiming. It’s totally not like I have bad skills or anything. 😂😂

 

I think we’ve decided that maybe playing forward or defence just isn’t for me. That leaves us with goalkeeping just like the old days. Problem is, I flinch whenever anything comes my way (unless it’s Takis 😂), let alone a ball bolting towards my face at like 500 miles an hour. I seriously don’t know how goalkeepers manage not to curl into a ball of fear when there’s a very aggressive player plotting their injuries. 😂

 

So far I’ve just been talking about how bad I am at soccer which isn’t exactly a reason to hate it. But now that you’re clear that I had a bad experience playing it, let’s begin our rant on watching other people playing it. Aka the World Cup. It’s probably just me but I have no idea why the world is raging and celebrating over a soccer ball being kicked back and forth between two countries. Like if you were the one playing, I get how it can be fun but you’re literally behind a screen watching other people play. 😂 And yes, I know that some people are cheering for their countries and whatnot but I find the whole thing overrated.

And I mean it’s fine if people watch an hour every day or keep up with the scores but no. Everyone’s glued to the TV 6 hours a day watching the ball go back and forth.

     

I think I might like that gif a bit too much but you get my point.😂 People are actually flying all the way to Russia and spending thousands on hotels just to watch the match. People are coming home from work early just to watch the match *cough*mydad*cough*.😂 People are literally waking up at 3 am just to watch the match *cough*stillmydad*cough* (okay fine that was an exaggeration but it’s pretty early 😂). THE WORLD IS OBSESSED! And okay, I’d give you credit if it was a Turkish drama or an interesting channel but NO, the ball just goes back and forth and it’s literally a blue moon if anyone shoots.

 

I actually tried watching the World Cup last week and I can say, it’s pretty hypnotizing. But then I started to get pretty frustrated because players would literally kick the ball with no purpose sometimes and the score remains 1-0 for an hour like how is that entertaining? 😂 I’m not trying to diss their soccer skills because as you can see, I’m not too well off myself but I just don’t understand why the world is freaking out about it.😂 And you’re probably thinking “well if you find it boring, then don’t watch it” but when your whole household is screaming over Germany’s goal at 8 am on a weekend, then it kind of gets annoying.

 

That’s not even all. I thought maybe my family members can just get over it for the rest of the day but no. EVERYONE is talking about it. At home, at school, at the mall, at the supermarket, at weddings and probably at funerals! Like I get that they come once every four years but chilll – it’s just soccer. 😂

World cups be like

 

Although I find the World Cup kind of useless, it’s me against 3.2 billion people. I guess it’s a smart way to make a profit – I mean 4.8 billion dollars in 2014 alone?, gurl count me in. 😂 And although I seem to hate most trends, the World Cup might be a spark that brings families and friends together. Okay, stop cringing, it’s just a thought.😂 I’ll let the World Cup slide by but soccer will forever be in my book of forgotten sports.

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Anddd that’s all for today.

Thoughts on soccer? (I totally won’t block you if they’re positive)😂

Do you watch the World Cup? 

Did you see how Argentina lost 3-0? (wow I’m so hypocritical)😂

I’ll see you guys in my next post.

Bayyy 💞