My Weirdest Spam Comments #3

**BEFORE WE START** THANK YOU ALL FOR SEVEN HUNDRED FOLLOWERS!!! I’m still convinced y’all need therapy but I just want to thank you for all the support. I literally remember only a year ago being excited for a follower other than my dad and here we are. I really don’t want to be corny and treat you all like fans because no, we’re all friends that rant and share our stories – especially embarassing ones. But I’m starting to get a little nervous here – 700 friends? Yeah, let’s not think about that pressure. πŸ˜‚Β Anyways, thank you so so so much and I send you 700 virtual hugs! On to the post.

Image result for celebration gif


 

Hey girl hey. And boy.

I never expected to make this post so soon but when I checked my spam comments, I had 114!! So I scanned through and decided to share a few (I’m a poet). A lot I filtered out because I don’t want to be going to casino and nasty websites so that’s crossed out. As always, my last two spam comment posts are here and here and let’s get starteddd.


Weird/Innapropriate

“Don’t wear seatbelts lest you drown in your own urine?”

This legit came up at LEAST 50 times!! What the heck is that supposed to meaaaan?? Okay I’m not good with old English so I searched up what lest meant and it was “to avoid the risk of” so this spam comment is basically saying don’t wear seatbelts to avoid drowning in your own pee? I’m actually so confused. πŸ˜‚

Image result for confusion gif

“Are you looking to see and talk to some really secksy girls? (we’re PG hereπŸ˜‚Β )Β These girls are super dirty and it doesn’t cost a single cent to talk to them. It’s wall to wall babes at this site.”

Noooo thank you. Honestly, I don’t even get these websites like it’s just really nasty and ugh especially those pop-up ads. There are kids on the internet now bro.πŸ˜‚

Image result for the kids are here gif

“I travel all around the world for work, and it used to be really lonely. Now I can go onto Tinder and have a date lined up in a new city before I even get out of the airport!”

I’m glad my Public Washrooms rant reminded you of that.πŸ˜‚Β  Don’t go on Tinder, kids.

“I spent four years trying EVERYTHING in Online Dating, and through a huge amount of trial and error, I produced a system that I will share for you. This book will take you, step by step, through everything you need to know to double, triple or even quadruple the number of women you meet online.”

Thanks but no thanks. I’ve heard enough online dating stories to stay away from it.Β πŸ˜‚

Image result for thats a no no gif

“sydney gay india gay gay cam gay teenagers olly murs gay”

……no.

“Research studies have proven that regular aerobic exercise will increase your circulation too. This circulation increase will help produce increased serotonin levels in the brain. The clarity of your brain is another effect of this increased level of serotonin. This is not only fascinating but also a very good thing. One truth about fitness exercises is they are great for your mental horsepower. In other words, working out helps to make your brain more powerful and operate at a higher level of performance”

ARE YOU SAYING ME STANDING AROUND LIKE A POTATO IS GOING TO MAKE ME DUMBER? Because you’re absolutely correct. Thanks. πŸ˜‚

Image result for so what are you trying to say gif

 

Kind (but sometimes off topic)

“Nice answer back in return of this issue with genuine arguments and describing all concerning that.”

The fact that this was on my ‘Weirdest Spam Comments’ post is so ironic. πŸ˜‚Β I’m glad my arguments were great – now please stop with the spam. πŸ˜‚

“Just desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity for your publish is simply spectacular and i could suppose you are a professional in this subject. Well along with your permission allow me to snatch your RSS feed to keep updated with impending post. Thank you one million and please continue the rewarding work”Β 

Aww thank you but am I professional on the subject, Why I Hate Slime? πŸ˜‚Β I’m glad you found the topic astonishing!!

Image result for don't pretend to love me gif

OMG THIS MOVIE WAS MY BAE

“Hallo, wollte nur sagen, ich genossewn blog post.Es war inspirierend . Halten Sie ΓΌber die Entsendung!”

The only thing I caught there was UBER DIE πŸ˜‚Β I put this in google translate and it’s German!! It translated to:

“Hello, just wanted to say, I genossewn blog post. It was inspiring. Keep on posting!”

Aah thank you! I’m so glad you genossewned this blog post!πŸ˜‚Β  You keep me going.

Image result for me no speak german gif

“keep up the superb work, I read few blog posts on this website and I think that your web site is real interesting and has lots of superb information.”

Why are bots so nice?! I should start approving these comments. πŸ˜‚

“Valuable info. Fortunate me I found your site by chance, and I am stunned why this twist of fate didn’t came about in advance! I bookmarked it.”

AWWWW WHY ARE SPAM BOTS SO NICE? Well the majority. Thank you thank you!

“Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!”

Okay I really appreciate this comment because this person addresses that it’s off topic AND tells a funny story. I’m starting to wonder if some of these are real. Rip your ipad and you can talk to me anytimeee. πŸ˜‚

Image result for rip gif

“With thanks! Valuable information!”

I. got. this. one. a. ga. zillion. times. ON THE RANDOMEST BLOG POSTS!πŸ˜‚Β  Like no, I don’t think seniors thinking I’m 20 is valuable information.

“I adore studying and I conceive this website got some truly utilitarian stuff on it!”Β 

Again, my blog is not made for educational purposes. And this was on my TMI tag post so ??? πŸ˜‚

“Just wanna input that you have a very decent site, I love the design and style it actually stands out”

Aww thank you!! Hey, don’t judge – I have faith that some of these are real – fine, maybe not. πŸ˜‚

“I conceive other website owners should take this website as an model, very clean and superb user friendly style and design.”

Exactly guys, take notes. πŸ˜‚

Image result for take notes gif

JK JK but seriously these are SO nice thank you!

“I was very pleased to seek out this net-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this excellent learn!! I undoubtedly having fun with every little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.”

THANK YOUUUU! See guys? I wasn’t crazy when I said you should bookmark my blog in my first ever post. *cough*gobookmarkit*cough*

“woh I enjoy your posts, saved to favorites! .”

Woh thanks so much!

“I visited a lot of website but I conceive this one holds something extra in it in it”

Aww thank you!! I hope it’s the good kind of extra haha.

“I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.”

THANK YOU CHERRI! Omggg whaaat? Stop looking at me like I’m crazy guys. Bots, I appreciate you! πŸ˜‚

Image result for i rule the world gif


 

Seeking Technical Advice

 

“Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article seem to be running off the screen in Firefox. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Many thanks”

Ohh does it really? I’m too lazy to download it so sorryy. It works on Chrome though? πŸ˜‚

“Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same outcome.”

This is like the last one. I’m not good with tech – sorry!!

Image result for shrug gif

“New to blogging. How can I make sure no one obtains my background images and text?”

Um I’m not sure. Maybe just put your name on it so that person is forced to give you credit. But then again, some photoshop programs remove watermarks so I don’t know.

“Once I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Is there any method you’ll be able to take away me from that service? Thanks!”

I’m not a technician aaah. I depend on the wordpress server to do all the work. I’m practically spoonfed here. πŸ˜‚

Image result for spoonfed gif

“I’m trying to see how can you prevent the content from being removed on a youtube video due to copyright. I really just want to see what material can you use so that youtube will not remove the content. Like with music, should you use music from like a CD instead of downloading it from like itunes? Can you give me any suggestions?.”

Again, I have no idea! Maybe just stick to the limits they have or use non-copyright music?

“Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seemΒ to get there! Thank you”

I’m on Yahoo News?!!! Did you mix me up with Beyonce? Lol sorry can’t help you – I don’t even know. And why are a lot of these spam comments on my spam comments post. Do bots find it cool to read other bots? ARE THESE EVEN BOTS? πŸ˜‚

Image result for im famous? gif


Hate Spam

“The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my option to learn, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you might repair when you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.”

OMG YOU GUYS I NEVER RECEIVED A HATE COMMENT BEFORE!!? First of all, this was on my Real Neat Blog Award where I did not complain whatsoev- oh, I did rant about celebrities. Wait? How can I even repair that? Stop guilt-tripping me Jena Neuserrr. πŸ˜‚

Image result for dont guilt trip me gif


 

Anddd that’s all for today. I learned that some bots will give you criticism in both content and technical aspects. πŸ˜‚Β I also learned that they like reading weird spam comments too like okay? πŸ˜‚Β Jena, you better expand on what you commented earlier. WDYM WHINING? Okay fine, I’ll chill. πŸ˜‚

Do you have any spam comments you’d like to share?

What’s your favourite one? (don’t tell me you’re team Jena πŸ˜‚)

I hope you guys enjoyed and I’ll see you guys in my next post.

Bayyy πŸ’ž

 

 

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “My Weirdest Spam Comments #3

  1. Sam says:

    Them: The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my option to learn, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you might repair when you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.”
    Correct grammar: The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this one. I mean I know it was my option to learn, but I actually thought you’d have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you might repair when you aren’t *or are not* too busy on the lookout for attention.”

    In my opinion, if you’re going to hate, hate with correct grammar! I mean, seriously? πŸ™„

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Maggie says:

    Oh my gosh, hahahah πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I read through this post a couple days ago, but hadn’t gotten around to commenting yet. I was cracking up the whole time!
    Spam comments are either absolutely pointless, or they make actually decent jokes πŸ˜‚
    Thanks for sharing yours! It gave me a good laugh

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bayance says:

      AAH so glad you enjoyed!! Ikrrr I was so weirded out when reading these in my spam folder 😬 Like what do you mean drowning in my urine? No problem gurl I’m glad you enjoyed. Can’t wait to read more of these in a few months πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Maggie says:

        SAME yehhh that’s a bit… ugh… πŸ˜³πŸ˜† I don’t think I’ve gotten ones like that! I’ll get weird casino-themed ones hahah. Looking forward to that!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s