Friends Answer: How Do You Get Over a Crush?

Hey girl hey. And boy.

It’s valentine’s dayyy. (not anymore hehe) I know the title is not too suitable to the whole theme of asking your crush out and valentines but there are times in life when we actually need to put some feelings in the past. Whether that be because of rejection, time to focus on yourself or trying to not fall for the wrong people, this post is for you. I’ve asked a couple of my friends what they think of getting over crushes and stay tuned ’til the end for the ultimate secret to getting over your crush! Let’s get starteddd.


 

1. “Think about how disgusting they are”

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2. “Let time go by”

3. “Try not to rebound”

4. “Take your time”

5. “Watch all 3 seasons of Brooklyn 999, eat a tub of ice cream and cry yourself to sleep”

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6. “Try to be friends”

7. “Let it out – don’t suppress your feelings”

8. “Write it down, talk about it with someone you trust”

9. “Know that if it’s meant to happen it will eventually happen”

10. “Don’t raise your hopes up – hope hurts”

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11. “Don’t attach yourself to this person”

12. “Think of an imaginary boy to fall in love with”

13. “Leave the school”

14. “Leave the country”

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LOOOL THESE HAVE ME CRYING. But I really like the time ones!


15. What I Learned

So recently I myself have been trying to get over a crush because it’s taking too much space in my mind and I hate feeling vulnerable like that. Plus, I’m not at the stage in my life to look for a hubby. Anyways, I’ve been thinking of ways to get over it and I thought to myself well maybe if I just avoid this person at all costs, try to forget what they look like or just try to focus on other things, I’ll just forget about them. Let’s just say that it only makes it worse. 😂 Typically when I was younger, the only way for me to get over a crush is by developing a new one, but a couple weeks ago, I finally realized the solution.

Don’t get to know them.

As a rule of thumb, I stopped making guy friends so the guys I like are usually people I don’t know too much about – it’s just an image that I distort in my mind that makes them these perfect turkish soap opera guys.😂 So then I think to myself, “what is it that I like about this guy?” If I don’t know him or have lived with him, there’s no true love where you have persevered through hard times as a pair and all that, so there must be something my mind is telling me about myself.

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me @ hormones

Now, instead of putting all my focus on the guy and having me being vulnerable and flustered, I’ve taken that control to say “well here are the characteristics I look for in a man. if I am ready for marriage years from now, I’ll consider this man but if he’s not available, then I can look for these exact characteristics in other men”. And trust meee, this will save you so much heartbreak. Because when you get to know a guy, suddenly that attraction is attached to a specific person and if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be left heartbroken. Whereas if you were attracted to someone’s characteristics, it stops becoming about this person – it becomes about putting a description to YOUR standards. I hope this made sense and that it was beneficial. This might not work for everyone but it’s definitely made me have more of a grip over myself.

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Usually, I like to briefly mention the Islamic perspective but in this case, it’s not an interest in someone with the intention of marriage. And 1400 years ago, women got married much earlier in every culture at that time. So just know that attraction is perfectly normal. What’s important is that you don’t cave into your desires and put yourself in a bad situation. If you are a Muslim girl struggling with this, try to increase in your voluntary fasts, lower your gaze a little more and always try to keep it professional with guys your age which is something that I struggle with greeatly. (But we’ll keep that for another post😂)

Some people think that the best way to get over a crush is to get to know them to get rid of that perfect mental image, while others think you should just admire their character and move on. It really depends on perspective and I would love to hear from you.

What is the best way to get over a crush?

SHARE YOUR LOVE STORIES IN THE COMMENTS (I don’t judge)

And if we can all agree on something, it’s that time heals. So just accept it and be patient – one day you’ll look back at it and think to yourself:

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OK BUT I LOVE THIS GIF

I’ll see you in my next post.

Bayyy. 💞

21 thoughts on “Friends Answer: How Do You Get Over a Crush?

  1. Jo says:

    *can sorta kinda relate but it’s complicated*
    so this was humorous. XD
    so i don’t get crushes. i do get squishes however, which is when you have a platonic crush. XD
    and i’ve discovered that currently, good friendships are my “love life” and i’m totally okay with that. XD

    BUT YES TO B99

    Liked by 4 people

    • Bayance says:

      Yessss! Jo explain asexuality to me I need to learn more. Because I know when I was younger I was like ew boys but I guess overtime I didn’t mind it. Is asexuality something that goes away over time? Is it rooted in fear? I’m ignorant on this sis please educate.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jo says:

        *oh NO i oUTeD mySeLFF* (i’m cool with it XD)
        so asexuality is basically when someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction for anyone. this can easily be confused with aromance, which is when someone doesn’t experience _romantic_ attraction for anyone. basically, i don’t really get crushes the way most people do (but i DO get them– but different. does that make sense? that does not make sense) it’s honestly a human thing just like being right-handed or being able to wiggle your ears or roll up your tongue is, so it doesn’t really go away. if it does, then what you have is probably more of the demi/gray side (where you have some feelings but still not as much) as for fear, there’s a reason many people don’t talk about it — one because since it’s labelled as queer, doesn’t that make it a sin??? which i get a lot from people of faith. it’s sad, because it’s literally just “we do not like to do the Thing!” (yes, bay, we can’t call it anything else but the Thing) and God makes it clear that our lives are not revolved around doing the Thing aNYWAY, so why is everyone screeching? XD on the flipside, some people in queer community have said that asexuality is just some special word for virgins to feel cool, so it’s not exactly all friendly on that side either.
        because if we look at that point of view, there are no gays or lesbians, there are just guys who like guys and girls who like girls. is that supposed to be better than a person who doesn’t like anyone? (not trying to attack anyone just trying to be objective and failing XD)
        another thing i’ll add and then i’ll step off my soapbox is that for me, being ace is just a part of me, but not the thing that defines me, so if i say the definition rather than the label, that’s why. however, i find that i *do* have to say the label thanks to people who just. don’t. get. it. and. persist. in. being. sexist. but that’s a conversation for another time and God made me a person who is able to connect with anyone, so i’m gonna roll with it and try not to feel pressured into anything unless i feel like it’s right. XD thank you for asking, bay, it’s lovely to know you care. 😀

        Liked by 4 people

      • Bayance says:

        JOOOOO thank you SO much for explaining this!! And whaaat? It isn’t a sin. Like if you’re gonna do it, do it the lawful way. And if not, then it’s all good. At the end you mentioned how you don’t want to feel pressured into anything until it’s right so does that mean you’d ever consider marriage? Or only doing it with someone who’s actually ready to commit? That’s my exact mindset on the topic as a whole. I feel like society has made it a norm that you need to sleep with like 10 men and always do it in the moment. Like um no? But anyways it’s really cool hearing this. And yes, no labels. Like I’m so done with people defining themselves by sexuality. It’s a part of life but it’s not all of it and it certainly doesn’t stop you from doing good in the world. Thank you so much Jo!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jo says:

        *the validation* *the validation is too much i tell you* *too* *much*
        there’s a quote from little women that jo (march) says and it goes like “but i don’t think i’ll ever get married. i’m happy as i am and i love my liberty too much to give it up” and that pretty much sums it up as a whole. XD i don’t feel inclined to do something that just,,, doesn’t,, appeal. but i’m also taking in the fact that we are mere children and that we change and i wanna leave room for that. i just, i think that if there ever was someone for me, it would be starkly different from society’s expectations. and i’m chill with that. XD finding love isn’t always finding romance, yk? and honestly tyyyyy i’m just,,, the people who’re okay with who i am and the people i’m with don’t see eye to eye, so just thank you for wanting to hear this and you’re literally the best so thank you and this is where i shall disappear from the face of the planet *hops off*

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Tess says:

    currently denying a crush on a very good friend of mine so please stop stalking me and posting stuff like this right when i need to hear it :[ XD
    crushes are really weird for me. they’re really more just wanting to share a special connection with someone and have inside jokes. maybe i just need to make more friends lol.
    my crush advice is as follows: if it lasts longer than two months, it’s love and you need to do something about it. and don’t be ashamed about crushing on a ton of different people, that’s literally a biological urge and it is normal.
    okay bye xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      LOOOL OH NO 😂😂 I definitely remember this type of crush so don’t worry it’s normal. Ahh thank you for the advice. Yikes my crushes last a year we love that for me. And ah that last part is true. I just wouldn’t try to talk to all of them at once because it’ll mess us up. 😂 Love it Tess!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jasmin ♡ @thewriterofletters.com says:

    Ack crushes are SO ANNOYING 99% of the time. I currently am in the denial state of liking someone but idk if I LIKE them or what but we’re really good friends and He likes someone I know so I’m just hanging out over here chillin ya know. Hopefully the crush will leave soon but I honestly don’t know. Usually I have to develop a new crush to get over my last one 😂 Or it helps if I see the boys true character and he’s super rude then I can be like ummm bye 👋 but yeah! LOVED this post so much! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      WHY ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?! I’ve been hereee yes! Omg I have the same technique of getting over them too. Jasmin are you sure you’re not me in disguise? 😂 Okay so my only problem this time is that the guy I like doesn’t really talk to girls and his character is GOOD. Like even when he’s around his friends. Usually guys are jerks but I don’t know about this one and my brain is confused cuz it’s like “wait strange pattern detected” lol 😂 Ugh idk let’s just let time go by hopefully, like you said, we’ll get over it soon. Thank youuu!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Jasmin ♡ @thewriterofletters.com says:

        WAIT ARE YOU ME IN DISGUISE?! 😂 I don’t know if our technique works, I kinda want to try the “To all the Boys I’ve Loved Before” method, like writing letters, but what if they got sent or something? I would maybe just burn them or something idkkk 😂
        Wait, that’s so unusual?! He sounds like he would be a good one ;)) It’s so annoying when boys know they’re good looking and their jut obnoxious self absorbed brats 🤦🏼‍♀️ ughhhh I could rant about boys FOREVER 😂
        You’re welcome! ❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  4. happily, hedy says:

    Lolll I published a post on Valentines that was kinda like this one ish. I went through my past crushes and well, if ya wanna read it it’s password protected but email me and I’ll send it to you. Just don’t want Google to be ranking it and suddenly have the whole world see it lol. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. cluelessceres says:

    I’ve never had a crush IRL( I say it that way cus I’ve had minimum one crush in every book/TV show/movie I’ve watched😂) and yeah, I sooo get the whole set your standard around the character(as in personality) and not the character(as in person)😂
    I used to find it so wierd…I was always crushing on the same kinda character in every book ( ya know, the newt scamander, Iron fist from spiderman, kinda guy/girl😂) and then I realized that it was less about the person and more about the personality💛
    Gosh, I hope you get over the crush you wanna get over without any heartbreak….and girl, he’s the one who’s at a loss here if you do get over it😂…but all the same, let’s hope for a speedy recovery, bay!!
    💛

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      FACTSSSSSS – I have mass crushes in real life and in fiction haha. 😂
      Awww thank you!! I didn’t go through a rejection or anything because I pretend I don’t see him but I need to get over this quick so tyyy!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Mukta says:

    I hate crushes so much ugh they consume you and squeeze the life out of you and this post just reminded me of my last one Bayance wHY
    Soo I’ve known him for like 13 years now and majorly crushed on him for some 3 years (if constantly denying it counts as crushing) and it took me forever to get over him but I like to think I finally did WHEW

    Liked by 2 people

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