Hey girl hey. And boy.
I never thought the day would come where I would stop blogging but after a month of thinking about my intentions, purposes and long-term plans with this blog, I feel it is the best time, here on my 3rd year blogging anniversary, to say goodbye.
For a bit.
I just wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on the reasons I was blogging along the years so if you want to read a little bit of why I’m going to end off my blogging journey, keep on reading.
- Why did you start blogging?
“I explain this a bit in my first post but essentially, I wanted an outlet where I could share all things opinions, rants, tips, advice, recipes and more. I was passionate about so much and wanted to have a digital diary in a way to express my thoughts. I never thought I’d ever get likes or followers or anything like that (your sis didn’t even know blogs had follow buttons 😂). I originally wanted a Youtube channel but after a lot of consideration, I realized blogging was the best for me (plus, Zoella’s books had a lot to play in this decision haha).”
- Why did you start blogging?
“I wanted a place to share my rants, opinions and tutorials. Kind of like a YouTube channel but blogs are anonymous and probably much safer because there aren’t a lot of viewers and most people are open minded and kind. – Haha yes, I totally stole this from my interview with Beafree : click here if you want to read it. Oh and I also got a bunch of inspiration from the Girl Online books.”
- Why did you start blogging?
“I always wanted to start a youtube channel but after thinking it through, I thought I had a bit more passion with writing. After reading Zoe’s Girl Online books, I started a blog. I honestly just went for it and never thought I’d come across the people I did but here we are. I had a lot of opinions and advice I wanted to get out into the world and it was more of an online diary than anything but I’m so glad I got to be part of this amazing community. I am going to say that I’m reaching a weird stage of blogging where it’s taking a lot of time and energy to get one post out, let alone interact and read other blog posts. If any of you have tips on blogging efficiency or just blog and life management, do let me know!”
Aww I love this. And I think my three years of blogging has helped me express myself and be able to communicate the things that I’m passionate about. But for so long, my post’s purpose was just ‘to entertain’. So it was me ranting about or reacting to funny things and just trying to make others smile. And that’s beautiful. I still want others to smile. But not in the way of a blog post that makes them forget about their problems temporarily. I want to get to the root of our problems and really express the meaning of life.
My posts on Bayance were all about me. What I’m making, questions I’m answering about myself, what I’m doing every month. Now, I don’t feel the need to share it with the world anymore. My years of ‘expressing myself’ have come to an end. I want to live experiences, not take pictures and videos of them. I want to reflect on me for me, not for the entertainment of someone else. But what I do want to do with others is help them find the reason they’re here and promote justice, love, open-mindedness and all of that.
I don’t want to share things about me anymore.
It’s the reason I left social media. Social media gave everyone a platform to share what they were up to and suddenly it’s just become this toxic ego-feeding platform of comments and likes and views. And who looks better? And who’s living a better life?
And suddenly, that spilled into blogging. I thought I could escape it because blogging wasn’t about how you looked and how many likes you had. But the numbers and this seeking of validation was still there. I felt myself commenting on other people’s posts and engaging with other bloggers just so I can generate an audience or “return the favour” of people who commented on mine.
And I hated that.
Why was I pouring my time into skimming multiple posts just so I can keep up with my audience or expand my following?
I wanted to expand my blog but I had no energy to read others’ posts just for the sake of my own self-gain.
Blogging began to drain me and it became like this chore that I wasn’t passionate about anymore.
And when I think about my long term plan for this blog or just my purpose in life, I found that a). I had no long term plan – it’s just entertainment and b). It wasn’t serving my purpose.
I want to dedicate my life to serving others and serving Allah and I found this type of lifestyle blogging just didn’t fit into either one. Every time I would finish an action that had to do with my purpose like Islamic education or Quran or talking to others about meanings of life and themes in the Quran, I would feel so empowered. Like there was light in my chest.
But every time I got up from blogging or talking to a friend about meaningless topics, I felt so down. Like I wasted so much time on something empty.
And don’t get me wrong – some of the posts I wrote were meaningful and sparked amazing conversation and the posts you guys write are just so empowering. But I found myself just finding so many posts that I wrote as just…empty.
I tried to ignore this feeling for the longest time but I can’t anymore.
When I came to think about how I will answer for my time on the day of judgement and how blogging took such a big portion of it, what would I say?
What I’m trying to say is that there is so much content like mine out there (DIYs, recipes, life hacks..etc) and I want to steer my focus now to things like meanings of life, value systems, societies and things like that. And because I want to shift my audience from this small open minded one here on WordPress to a more general and wide-reaching audience, I think I’m going to actually look into film production and Youtube.
It’s funny because I started blogging with “I originally wanted to start Youtube but I think I like writing more” and I’m so grateful for that. I’m glad that I was blogging during these three years of change so that I can enter Youtube not with the mindset of “me me me” but more “let’s look at life together, let’s clarify things together…etc”.
So I don’t want to say that I “quit” blogging. It’s just a break for now until I renew my intentions, educate myself more on the topics I want to discuss, look into script writing and film. And hopefully one day I will rebrand this blog and you will hear from me again with a new set of content.
This is my last post…for a bit.
And if I don’t come back, I guess life is a “bit” itself, isn’t it?
I’ll try my best haha.
But the next time I’m back, I’ll probably go self-hosted and take blogging a little more seriously than a side hobby for when I’m bored. Because frankly, I’m not bored anymore. So whatever I put my time into, I really want it to be meaningful or relevant to my book of deeds.
Blogging has helped me so much over the years and I will forever be grateful for this amazing family of beautiful and open-minded people. You guys are seriously amazing and I truly wish you the best with your own blogging journey. Mine is coming to an end (at least ‘Bayance’ – and hey, your sis is a a grandma after all – it’s the circle of life) but I hope you go amazing places with yours and find meaning within your posts.
I will pop in every once in a while to comment on some of your posts if I’m on a road trip or just looking for something to read on the go. And this is just the end to Bayance, not blogging. I do plan on coming back down the road to start writing again under a different intention like I mentioned earlier.
I will always remember you. And I’ll leave my site the way it is if you wanted to read over my old content (and I personally will be doing that every once in a while haha). And here’s my first ever blog post if you wanted to read it: Welcome to my Blog. My thumbnail today is quite nostalgic if I do say so myself. 😂
Also wanted to acknowledge yawm Arafat today for all the Muslims fasting and celebrating this blessed day right before Eid. What a blessed day to end my current blogging journey with and I want to wish you an AMAZING and blessed Eid tomorrow. May you and your loved ones enjoy the celebration. An early Eid Mubarak here from yours truly. (Ka’ak, here I come 😂)
Thank you all for making my time at Bayance an amazing one. And I hope we cross paths again.
I’ll see you….in a bit.