Hey girl hey. And boy.
Disclaimer: Thankfully, I am not a victim but this issue needs to be addressed.
This is sort of going to be a quick post but I just need to get this off my chest. Sexual assault is not okay. Many people identify it as something as obvious as molestation but even silly moves like butt slaps and touching someone in general without their consent still crosses the line. Today a friend of mine has been slapped somewhere she didn’t consent to by a group of guys in line. When she asked who has done it, all the guys laughed like a bunch of jerks. She was obviously embarrassed and broke down during lunch. She was made a laughing stock and everyone knew what happened. I was not there to witness it but she told me what had happened and man, was I triggered. First off, I am like a super feminist and this topic makes me especially angry because no one and I mean no one, has the right to touch anyone without their consent. I pulled the guy aside to confront him about it but he claimed it was an accident. He said he pushed the guy playfully and somehow the following happened. Now I was not completely convinced but if it was an accident, why were they laughing and not apologizing? I told him he needed to apologize for it either way because it really hurt her feelings and even if it was a misunderstanding, it needs to be cleared up. He did after class but my friend was having none of it. She’s obviously not convinced because he didn’t apologize earlier, and only did once he looked guilty to others. I’m not sure if he was embarrassed to because his friends were around or what. I don’t even know why some guys and even girls think it’s cool to do something wrong just to look cooler in front of their friends. This whole thing got me shaking my head.
I hate how some people think because someone is dressed a certain way, they’re “asking” for it. It’s the boys who need to be educated because I know like two hijabis who have gone through something like that. And yes, boys will be boys but boundaries will be boundaries as well. Just because you get certain “thoughts”, doesn’t mean you need to express it verbally and definitely no right to express it physically. Catcalling is also an issue in our society today. Objectifying girls and even boys is a problem we are facing and it seriously needs to stop. We see so much of objectifying girls in our music nowadays and I am sick of it.
“Baby girl, you’re so damn fine though
I’m tryna know if I could hit it from behind though”
“Wonder when she’ll be mine
She walks past, I press rewind
To see that a55 one more time”
Both from 679, a popular song back in like 2016. Instead of encouraging respect for each other, we’re objectifying. Great. People trash-talk all the time while with their friends but what if your sister was catcalled? What if your mom was catcalled? These are important women in your life and respecting them is just as important as respecting the rest of them. Where did our morals go? I love this Ted Talk by Alexis Jones and would recommend you watch it.
And of course, it gets worse. There’s repetitive molestation and even rape. Rape is a whole other post because that’s a heavy topic that people need to be talking more about and being more educated on. This post was mainly to do with more common types of assault that might happen in school but the more obvious ones need to come to a stop. We need to put boundaries. We need to respect each other. One action you do or one phrase you say can affect someone’s life and possibly even ruin it. Think before you speak and always think before you act.
If you are a victim, you need to speak up. You need to stand up for yourself. Never blame yourself – you are not the one who’s wrong. And no, it is a big deal. Do not settle. Seek justice for yourself. Pray and open up to God, your Creator. Do not be embarrassed to ask for help. Do not be afraid to tell someone. If you ever want to talk, you can drop me and email at firstname.lastname@example.org or a dm at bayanceblogs on Instagram. Please feel free to talk to me about anything. It’ll be hard but you need to stay patient and push through. There is a stronger you on the other side.
That wasn’t too quick of a post but it’s the most serious one I’ve done in a while (hence the no laughing emojis – what an accomplishment) but my next post will be a May Wrappers (already?!) so it’ll balance out the jokes deprivation (I know you missed my corny jokes guys). < This run off sentence though.
What do you think?
Have you ever witnessed assault?
Have you ever been through assault? (you don’t need to answer if it’s too personal)
This is an open discussion so please leave your thoughts down below. I’ll see you all in my next post.