Sexual Assault Is Never Okay

Hey girl hey. And boy.

Disclaimer: Thankfully, I am not a victim but this issue needs to be addressed.

This is sort of going to be a quick post but I just need to get this off my chest. Sexual assault is not okay. Many people identify it as something as obvious as molestation but even silly moves like butt slaps and touching someone in general without their consent still crosses the line. Today a friend of mine has been slapped somewhere she didn’t consent to by a group of guys in line. When she asked who has done it, all the guys laughed like a bunch of jerks. She was obviously embarrassed and broke down during lunch. She was made a laughing stock and everyone knew what happened. I was not there to witness it but she told me what had happened and man, was I triggered. First off, I am like a super feminist and this topic makes me especially angry because no one and I mean no one, has the right to touch anyone without their consent. I pulled the guy aside to confront him about it but he claimed it was an accident. He said he pushed the guy playfully and somehow the following happened. Now I was not completely convinced but if it was an accident, why were they laughing and not apologizing? I told him he needed to apologize for it either way because it really hurt her feelings and even if it was a misunderstanding, it needs to be cleared up. He did after class but my friend was having none of it. She’s obviously not convinced because he didn’t apologize earlier, and only did once he looked guilty to others. I’m not sure if he was embarrassed to because his friends were around or what. I don’t even know why some guys and even girls think it’s cool to do something wrong just to look cooler in front of their friends. This whole thing got me shaking my head.

Image result for smh gif

I hate how some people think because someone is dressed a certain way, they’re “asking” for it. It’s the boys who need to be educated because I know like two hijabis who have gone through something like that. And yes, boys will be boys but boundaries will be boundaries as well. Just because you get certain “thoughts”, doesn’t mean you need to express it verbally and definitely no right to express it physically. Catcalling is also an issue in our society today. Objectifying girls and even boys is a problem we are facing and it seriously needs to stop. We see so much of objectifying girls in our music nowadays and I am sick of it.

“Baby girl, you’re so damn fine though
I’m tryna know if I could hit it from behind though”

“Wonder when she’ll be mine
She walks past, I press rewind
To see that a55 one more time”

Both from 679, a popular song back in like 2016. Instead of encouraging respect for each other, we’re objectifying. Great. People trash-talk all the time while with their friends but what if your sister was catcalled? What if your mom was catcalled? These are important women in your life and respecting them is just as important as respecting the rest of them. Where did our morals go? I love this Ted Talk by Alexis Jones and would recommend you watch it.

 

And of course, it gets worse. There’s repetitive molestation and even rape. Rape is a whole other post because that’s a heavy topic that people need to be talking more about and being more educated on. This post was mainly to do with more common types of assault that might happen in school but the more obvious ones need to come to a stop. We need to put boundaries. We need to respect each other. One action you do or one phrase you say can affect someone’s life and possibly even ruin it. Think before you speak and always think before you act.

If you are a victim, you need to speak up. You need to stand up for yourself. Never blame yourself – you are not the one who’s wrong. And no, it is a big deal. Do not settle. Seek justice for yourself. Pray and open up to God, your Creator. Do not be embarrassed to ask for help. Do not be afraid to tell someone. If you ever want to talk, you can drop me and email at bayanceblogs@gmail.com or a dm at bayanceblogs on Instagram. Please feel free to talk to me about anything. It’ll be hard but you need to stay patient and push through. There is a stronger you on the other side.


 

That wasn’t too quick of a post but it’s the most serious one I’ve done in a while (hence the no laughing emojis – what an accomplishment) but my next post will be a May Wrappers (already?!) so it’ll balance out the jokes deprivation (I know you missed my corny jokes guys). < This run off sentence though.

What do you think?

Have you ever witnessed assault?

Have you ever been through assault? (you don’t need to answer if it’s too personal)

This is an open discussion so please leave your thoughts down below. I’ll see you all in my next post.

Bayyy 💞

 

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “Sexual Assault Is Never Okay

  1. Shay says:

    This is a great post! I’ve been catcalled a lot and approached before at night, which is scary because your body just freezes. My friends have been through the same and I’ve even had to stay on a call with one of them for two hours because they were scared that something was gonna happen to her in the middle of the day. I was honestly so scared for her. I think society needs to stop trying to teach women to “dress appropriately” and instead teach people to mind their goddamn business and keep their hands and private areas to themselves. People seem to think that sexual assault is a feminist debate buts it’s literally our lives at stake.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Bayance says:

      Thank you! Ugh that’s terrible – at night?! 😣 Oh my god that is so scary…do people not know how much stuff like this can affect people? OMG EXACTLY! Like I dress modestly because I know God knows what’s best for us but the way society blames assault on the way people dress is disgusting. Maybe if people kept their hands to themselves, it wouldn’t happen in the first place?! Everyone is responsible for their actions and victim-blaming needs to stop. IKR, it’s not biased at all, rights are rights.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ath3na says:

    Whilst I’ve never been sexual assaulted, I have been cat called by groups of older boys whom I’m guessing thought that I was 2 or 3 years older than I actually am? However one of my younger brother’s friends (who is 11) told my brother he was going to rape me, however he didn’t fully understand the word. My brother did understand and lashed out at him which caused a whole fiasco for both families. I think that’s the worst of mine however, which is not as bad as some of my other friends have experienced whilst walking alone. I definitely am against any forms of sexual harassment, assault and cat-calling. I just wished that people would stop blaming girls for these kinds of things. Stop teaching them how to defend themselves, and start teaching boys that it is NOT alright to touch ANYONE in anyway that they don’t want. I really hope that one day we’ll be able to abolish it entirely.

    – Athena

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      I have thankfully not been cat called or assaulted but that’s so disgusting of older boys to hit on younger girls. Omggg he didn’t know what it meant? In what context was he thinking? 😂 And uhh he’s 11 like he needs to chill. That would’ve caused a huge problem for me too. Girls should be able to walk alone without having to worry about catcalling or harassment – everyone should just mind their own business. Same here. UGH PREACH EXACTLY! Like just don’t do it to begin with. I really hope so too.

      Like

  3. Joy says:

    This is an amazing post and you’re right, sexual assault is not okay in any way. I am very sorry for you friend, those guys were such assholes, I would have punched them in the face I don’t care 😛 I never got physically sexually harassed but some many times, men catcalled me or came up to me and said rude and sexual things to me. I totally agree with you that whatever the woman is wearing, it’s not her fault and she doesn’t deserve that. Again, amazing post!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      Thank you! Exactly – omg literally same. 😂 Thankfully, I haven’t experienced either but ugh catcalling is not okay. Like keep your words to yourself and stop objectifying people. True!! Thank you for reading!

      Like

    • Bayance says:

      TYYY!! Ikr it was very un-Bayance like but some topics are laughing-emoji-free 😂 (there’s your daily dose of the day 😂- ugh again!) I’m glad we share the same viewsss!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Girl Illustrated says:

    You’re not gonna believe the amount of times I’ve been catcalled while wearing completely decent and not at all revealing clothes. And me being me obviously told them off. I even heard that one of the guys in my class who called me a slut for God knows why was going to kiss me without my consent but I didn’t know about this but my bestie found out and told him off so bad. Like what had him call me a slut? I wear completely appropriate clothes and I don’t go around sleeping with people. Heck I don’t even hold hands with people. Yea boys will be boys but they will be held accountable for their fucking actions!

    Also, I know you have done the real neat blog award if I remember correctly but I nominated you anyway cause I was nominating blogs I like. Feel free to check it out or answer my questions in the comments.♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      Oh my – why does that even happen? I’m glad you told them off – you go girl! Are you kidding me ughhh?? Slut is such a common word nowadays and it’s just – what even? EXACTLY!
      Aah tysm I’ll check it out now and I can make a real neat blog award 2 no worries. Ty for nominating me!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Brooke Jade says:

    thank you so much for this post! you said what thousands of bloggers have been scared to. this was beautifully written and really called attention to the topic. a couple of weeks ago, my friend was walking the halls of school when she was catcalled by some guys. she freaked out and ran. and she wasn’t wearing anything “revealing” at all. it’s so sad to hear the lyrics in some songs nowadays, they’re so demeaning. -brooke

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bayance says:

      Aah I did what I needed to do! Thank you so pmuch!! Ughh that sucks to hear. Some guys do it for fun but there’s literally no fun in paranoing people like that.Right? Exactly. I’m glad we share the same views.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. ChattyRoyalBlogger says:

    Thank you for spreading such an important message. The Internet needed this post! Keep up the good work, I hope your friend feels better and she is lucky to have you, it was brilliant of you to stick up for her, nobody should be treated like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bayance says:

      Aah no problem – I said what I needed to say. Thank you so much and yes she’s feeling better but I’m not too sure how she’s feeling on the inside. Aah thank you and exactly no one should be treated like that!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ria Mehrotra says:

    Great post! I’ve never been physically harassed, but I definitely have been verbally harassed from the time I was 13 or 14. It’s scary and the lack of acknowledgment of how it can mess people up is ridiculous. Thank you for acknowledging it! You did a great job!

    Like

    • Bayance says:

      Aah I’m just seeing this now because it was put into spam for some reason. Thank you so much. It sucks that that happened and it’s sad that this is a very common issue today. It’s what I needed to do – thank you again!

      Like

  8. Relatableexistence says:

    I missed you so much .It’s been a long summer that I probably won’t forget…EVER especially because of all the memories I’ve made from my holidays, some good some not so good. I’ve finally decided today’s the day I’m going back onto WordPress, finally I don’t need to focus my attention on anything else and this is the first post I click onto, its literal fate. The fact that you’re the one who posted this and right after what happened to me. I was not sexually assaulted thanks be to god. However I did go through a little incident that made me feel overly conscious about my body and my gender. I was with my family when it happened, we were going horse riding along the beach and around the base of the mountain. The instructor guy seemed friendly and cheerful if not a little sassy but overall an ok guy or so I thought. He offered to bring only my sister and I further up the mountains I we could canter freely since we learned horse riding before and were experienced. My parents agreed, while we were trotting ahead he tried to make small talk, he asked me my age and when I told him I just turned 15 he looked utterly gobsmacked and was commenting “I couldn’t tell you look so grown up”, I laughed along not taking it seriously and replied saying “yeah I’m tall”, that’s when I finally noticed that his gaze dropped and I followed it and realized he was leering at my chest And even smirked while nodding towards it. Immediately tension filled my chest and I felt sick to the stomach, it was like something had suddenly caught in my throat. My sister being only a child didn’t catch on and so we continued our way back without much dialogue. I felt my temper rising and I felt disgusted, I held my tongue though even when we met up with my parents because one I was embarrassed and didn’t want to have to awkwardly tell my parents that a grown ass man was staring at my chest, and two I didn’t want my dad to make a scene or punch the dude because I knew that he would if he found out. The coach eventually caught on the something was up and kept asking me why I wasn’t as happy as before and if I was enjoying myself, I tried to act fine and care up with stupid excuses however my expression was betraying my true feelings. He had to know that something was up. Later he purposely left me out of family photos, telling only my parents and my sister to hold hands and joking that I wasn’t part of the family, my parents took it as a joke since afterwards I found out that I was indeed in the corner of the photos. It was like he was playing with me. At this point my anger was simmering and I refused to act ok, ignoring him when he was saying his goodbyes, I muttered a “see you” obviously leaving out the “again” intentionally. After I got home I exploded and told my mum what had happened in less detail begging her to keep it from my mum, my mum tried to calm me down saying that I was becoming “a woman” in men’s eyes and maturing physically. I felt for the first time aware of my position as a “woman” rather than “a girl”, “a child” which is something a fifteen year old should never have to question. Later I ranted to my friends who told me that I wasn’t overreacting and that these pedos were everywhere which is part of the problem with society. The fact that that statement is true. No one no matter their age should feel unsafe in their own skin because it might “tempt” someone else to act in an unbecoming way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bayance says:

      I MISSED YOU TOO!!! Oh. my. goodness. That is so pedophilic and disgusting of him to do. You should not have to feel like you tempt guys or have them look to you as an object at any time. I would’ve been just as uncomfortable and upset too (except I would’ve probably called him out). Omg same with my brothers and dad, if they hear anything like this, consider that person dead (jk but you get the idea). It’s very disgusting how men objectify women today and vice versa. I’m so glad you told someone and that you acknowledged that it was his problem, not yours. And I hope you don’t experience anything like this again.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Relatableexistence says:

      Yes I know it’s so horrible that people think it’s ok to act this way, they need a reality call. If I wasn’t with my parents honestly I’d probably have whacked the guy (at least in my mind😉) and yes it’s a huge issue for sure, the stats on rape have gone up was it one in five women in America have experienced it? Btw I watched the ted talk a few months ago and I was totally enlightened, I had no idea that jocks got away with rape easily however I’m glad they’re being educated. Ted talks are so inspiring and I love watching them. One of my favorites is “why I’m done trying to be man enough” and I believe the male demographic need to watch it because it’s so eye opening. In fact I recommend people of all genders to watch it including you, I’m sure you’ll learn something new. Thanks for well wishes I hope I won’t go through something like that again either😅😘

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s