7 Signs You’re Secretly a Grandma

Hey girl hey. And boy.

Me being Grandma Bay, I always joke about having a grandma’s mind. Obviously I’m only a teen at the moment but I just like to convince myself that I’m that mature. But recently, I was at a friend’s birthday party and I am now starting to realize that I’m an ACTUAL grandma. I felt so out of place despite everyone being my age and doing normal teenage things. I just couldn’t. I’m not a normal teenager anymore. i’M nOt LiKe oThEr GirLs. The behavior that I’ve seen at this party was me around 6th or 7th grade and I can’t be the only one that’s maturing too fast. Surely there are other teenage grandmas out there, right?

So without further adieu, here are 7 signs YOU might secretly be grandma.

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1). You’re not that athletic

I’ve always been a potato when it came to any sport and like grandmas, my muscles just can’t move that fast for that long without ending up with ten different tense muscle locations. Not only are individual sports a struggle, but team sports are full on life threatening situations. I would always get hit in the face because my reaction time goes at a pace of 0.2x reality. One time, I remember I was playing basketball and I legit stopped the game to apologize 300 times to whoever I pushed accidentally. Take my Canadian grandma self off this court please. I can knit you a jersey instead.

 

2). You like literacy

Anything to do with reading and writing is your safe haven. I genuinely enjoy it and it can also be a coping method for when you’re stressed or overwhelmed. You’re most likely a grandma if you prefer:

• books over movies
• writing over typing
• journaling over smoking
• podcasts over music

 

3). You prefer phone calls

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty tech-savvy and I can find my way around technology but texting is such a waste of tiiime. My fingers don’t have energy for it and I prefer to hear your voice instead. I rarely find teens who like this too and all my friends get annoyed when I call but oh well. Grandma and proud.

 

4). You can’t stand social media

2 years earlier: “I’m a lazy potato that is obsessed with social media, photography, reading, writing and FOOD.” (from Welcome To My Blog)

A few months later: Why I Hate Snapchat

A few months after that: Why I Hate Instagram

Oops… as you can tell, I used to love social media, but I just CANNOT anymore. At this gathering, literally half the time girls were on their phones pointing at people’s pictures and asking who knows who. I’m done with ittt. Social media used to be a creative outlet and it’s just incredibly damaging now. We have a soul, mind and heart outside of this rectangular device and it’s so sad to see everyone including myself just SO immersed in this virtual world. Life is so beautiful without filters and fake perfection. Periodt.

 

5). You’re not boy-crazy…publicly

Hehehe so I had to add publicly because your sis is lowkey boy-crazy. Now this is not to say that I stalk a bunch of guys online and find all of them cute but eh let’s just say I fall in love every other year. The thing about grandmas is that although teenage hormones are inevitable, it’s not really the biggest topic of discussion around friends. Grandmas will try to get over crushes, not go out with them. So yes, teenagers are teenagers but you’re not that high-key about it.

LOOOL

 

6). You get along better with older people

If half your friends are 40 year olds, it’s time you consider yourself a grandma. Sometimes when I don’t click with a friend, I end up just clicking with their mom. I guess it’s because older people can talk about politics, marriage, parenting and all the subjects I actually like. I had a 90 year old friend once and we had a three hour conversation about religion and her life story. The elderly and I vibe much more than my classmates and I ever will.

 

7). You genuinely care about people (and babies)

In conclusion, everyone is your grandchild. Teenage grandmas are much needed in society because we’re the ones out here giving advice and overlooking themes in teenage behavior. Sure, people hate our phone call checkups and our urge to make every conversation about deep topics and philosophy but we genuinely love human beingsss. We just have so much love to share with the world. And babies. Please send me all your babies. Thank you.

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Anddd that’s all for today.

How grandma are you (out of 7)? 

I’ll see you in my next post.

Bayyy. 💞